Reviewing My Mid-Century Mark

Last year at this time I thought the best thing about being 50 was that it was better than being dead. I know- disgustingly negative. Shame on me!

So I am happy to report that my mid-century year has been great- even though I have never upped my daily mileage (3), significantly increased my speed. (4 miles an hour- pathetic) or discovered a magic wrinkle remover.

Simply put I have made time for what is really important.

A friend of mine participated in a Facebook project that asked people to list the 10 most significant things in their personal lives during 08. Reading her list prompted me to make my own. Making the list turned into a joyful task. There is much to be thankful for.

1. I accepted a job that I love because it reflects my values. I also treasure the people with whom I work. I took a huge salary cut and this is not a step up on a career ladder but I have no regrets. Indeed I am ecstatic!

2. I began researching the lives of woman who started progressive schools. This has reawakened my love of history and helped to strengthen my progressive philosophy.

3. I stopped worrying about my son's extreme dyslexia. I put together an individualized learning program for him and engaged instructors who are highly gifted in their fields even tho they are not "official" teachers. He is much happier although managing his time and persisting with difficult tasks are still growth areas for him. He has plenty of friends, is physically fit and is figuring out his strengths and passions.

4. My daughter was accepted to a wonderful high school and is extremely happy. I did not make this happen but it is going on the list because her happiness brings me great joy.

5. I allow my son to take risks and make mistakes. He has come home drunk (once) and high.(at least twice) We talk and impose consequences but I do not go crazy with rage, worry or disappointment. He will make mistakes. We will survive. He is learning and making better choices.

6. I have stopped attending a Lutheran church - even on holidays. I have been a Lutheran for 18 years because I wanted to keep the family together at church. I never attended on a regular basis because I have never agreed with much of the religious and political dogma embedded in the Lutheran denomination. I have never, ever accepted the social conservatism of the Lutheran church which is demonstrated in policies and statements that endorse discrimination against women and homophobia. The promotion of of the Republican party does not belong in church. I am also deeply upset by anti-scientific thought. Life is too short to keep silent about important things like human rights and rigorous scientific thought. God is not a Republican or a Democrat. Rejecting dogma is not the same as rejecting faith.

7. I worked in my first presidential election. I made over 600 phone calls for Obama and articulated my thoughts in personal essays. We celebrated Obama's victory with friends and enjoyed several spontaneous dancing in the streets celebrations throughout the city. I almost cried when I saw a runner waving the flag as he dashed down Castro and when I heard the crowd on Fillmore break out into a spontaneous chorus of God Bless America.

8. I reconnected with old friends through email and Facebook. This is lots of fun and prompts reflection and laughter.

9. I started giving money to panhandlers. I have let go of the need to control what they do with the money. It isn't really giving if I have to control how it is spent. I still carefully research donations to charities to make sure their goals and means are aligned with my values but giving on the street is a whole new way of giving.

10. During the last three days of the year I became the legal, financial and health guardian for my father who is incapable of caring for himself. I have no idea how this is going to work out- I don't see a happy ending. I could not do this without Bill, Joel, JW and Claire.